HI BYE FLY :D

look i dontknw wht's wrong with me. i jus dont feel like i want my life anymore. ppl always think my life's almost perfect. the greatest family, triple sci, i get almost evrything i wish for. but recently, well i dontknw why either, i've been feeling rly down. i dont rly see the purpose of living. it's like, go to sch, eat, shit and slp evryday. and when i walked out with hannah jus now, i jus burst out in tears (see i told yu guys i needed a counsellor). i've been gng arnd evrywhr and smtimes when i think abt my life, i jus feel fed up and i find smwhr nice and cry. plus, i jus got that damn green letter. gotta go back to sch on mon and tues from 8.30 till 5 so it jus made things worse. it made me feel rly useless, rly rly hopeless. i've no idea how im gna show that damn piece of paper to my mum. so today i jus cried and cried and cried while walking out and i didnt care abt anything anymore. i didnt care whether ppl were staring at me thinking wth im dng out thr crying, neither did i care abt how stupid i looked after i cried. i jus wanted to be home and feel a sense of belonging. i've nvr evr felt so fucking down in my whole entire life. i dontknw wht's the reason for all these, maybe it's jus my mood swing kicking in. or maybe stress? they always say yu might not knw it even if yu're facing stress. okay so, stress, maybe that's it. yea maybe it rly is. i always walk and walk and suddenly think of the long list of to-dos. and when i think of it i jus feel like i wasnt living anymore and wished time wld jus stop at that point in time so i wldnt need to do anything. it's kinda a bit like, i'll start thinking of evrything and suddenly it jus seems like i've got so many many things to do then i'll have a rly bad mood and feel rly stressed up and i'll squat at some ulu ulu corner and cry. oh or maybe worse, depression? uh whtevr it is, im jus feeling down.

i dont feel like dng anything alrdy so i've cancelled my piano lesson. thank god my mum allowed it when i told her i rly wasnt in the mood. now im locking myself up in my rm while blogging, planning to take a nap soon.

HANNAH: im fine, rly, so dont wry abt me. thank you yu for walking out with me and watching me cry even though yu cld have walked off with steph and the rest. yea i'll probably still burst out into tears w/out yu so it's better when yu're thr XD. and thanks for making me laugh once agn. maybe i'd have cried all the way from sch till home if yu werent thr. thanks for detouring with me to 7 11 under the hot hot sun and for accompanying me. but im still more used to listening to eh szewan, bu yao sheng qi lah, rather than eh szewan, bu yao shang xin le. sheng qi sounds more shun er XD. thankyou hannah for evrything yu've done.

ppl, if yu evr see a girl who's willing to wait for a friend for hrs jus to go home with her, a girl who doesnt mind listening to her friend scolding her whenevr her friend's in a bad mood, a girl who'd do anything jus to make sure her friend happy, it's hannah