i jus woke up from a 3.5 hr nap. now i'm a happy girl! actually, i was happy before i slept so now i'm happier. hahaha all thanks to changhong, panghian, dyane and davin, my stupid theory of "if i bump more into changhong i'll become smarter", changhong's way of tackling phD, panghian's err... phD and davin's usual irritating self.

zzz i walked out of sch with changhong and panghian. and we walked out of sch like a normal grp of friends would. add a lot of laughter and jokes, minus the art of walking properly (at least not bumping left and right). we were practically taking up every part of the pavement by pushing ourselves here to thr while moving forward. and of course, thanks to the phD and changhong's way of tackling phd by saying "fuck off" every time ph opens his mouth, i ended up bending over and laughing all the time. which caused my stomach to hurt, a lot.

then when we reached the junction, we saw dyane and davin. they were heading off to citylink and asked us along but all i wanted to do was come home and slp, zzz. they were across the road, so we ended up shouting across all the cars and lorries and the horrible horrible noise. then, mr chua called ph and asked for chorchuan's number. ph then asked for it from changhong, but changhong said he didnt have it. so ph ran across the road and told davin to give mr chua chorchuan's number. and davin went on and on with the "wht's mr chua's number?", "wht's chorchuan's number?". this went on for like 10 min and all along me and changhong were standing at the opp side laughing at the stupidity of the 2. then me and changhong realised that dyane and davin decided to stand in between 2 trees, instead of under 1 whr thr was shade. so we crapped and crapped and crapped till 12 came.

bus ride was a long long story, a lot of jokes as well. esp from changhong. i think we were the noisiest grp of ppl on the bus. changhong was like sms-ing mr chua and telling him that ph's not fit to be vice-chair if he doesnt even have chorchuan's number and mr chua said it's an interesting idea! so changhong told mr chua to tell mr faizal. HAHAHA and then halfway through thr's this sth-wrong-up-thr guy. he jus kept talking and talking super loudly, then banging his head on the window and stuff like that. before he alighted, he shouted sth super loudly towards the back and panghian went "SWEE" quite loudly. omg i turned to him straight away and saw him covering his mouth with his hands, giving the super sheepish ph look. i was like "omg ph, was that on purpose?" and he said "no... it was involuntary! i dunno how come i said that, it jus came naturally."

HAHAHAHA bloody hell okay that's abt it alrdy lahhhhhhhhh.

anw, quite a lot of things happened today. but i still dontknw how i'm feeling.

i feel so deprived of slp. thanks to chen vincent and davin santa ongsono, i only managed to slp at like 1.30! and i bloody woke up at like 5.30 okay! that's what, 5 pathetic hrs of slp. thus i walked arnd with zomg super obvious eyebags today.

so, i went to wastson's after sch with my mum and sis, hoping to bump into some sort of miraculously created eyebag removal shit. i was looking at all those facial care stuff (seriously, i dont understand how women choose which brand to use) and then my sis started asking me if i was looking for pimple cream. i stared at her incredulously and asked her if i looked like i had pimples. and she went "no, but i think i have one here, see!", hai~. so i told her, i seldom get pimples, it's more of blackheads. and unfortunately, this lady beside us heard wht i said and came up to me.

lady: hey are you looking for sth to clear blackheads too?
me: (not knowing what to say, i jus nodded) uh huh. (i means, it's more polite this way right?)
lady: oh my daughter's looking for sth to clear blackheads. (then she showed me the bottle of clean and clear face wash thingy) is this useful?
me: no. i tried using it before! it didnt really help...
lady: oh really? then which are you using now?

so i showed her the bottle of eucerin which i use. jus as i was showing, some saleslady came over and asked, "are you looking for sth to clear blackheads". zzz, so i said yes. thr's no harm taking a look right... so, instead of satisfying my urgent need to get rid of my eyebags, i ended up looking at a lot of facial products that helped to clear blackheads.

hey not bad, i jus wrote a rather long post. considering what i've been posting the last few days, i think this seems longgggg.

anw, davin's really high today. but i dontknw why, i'm not as happy as i'm supposed to be...

today's mid autumn festival! i hear those funny lantern music coming from the playground downstairs. it's the 1st time i'm not gng down to play, HAHA! see, i've grown up.

zzz, prelim results are out. i'm not exactly happy with my L1R5. thanks to combine humans £$%^£$%&$*@^%. i jus told namsy i ji du tao yan combine humans. but i'm supposed to love it okay, sian! i still wna get into vjc one, ggrrr

holy shit, it's been such a long time since i've blogged properly. actually, i dont have the mood to blog, nvrm

ratatouille is nice, pls watch.

NSYNC- I DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY

Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you
How I'm missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark

I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now I'm left
With all this pain
I've only got myself to blame

I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

Why didn't I know it
(How much I loved you baby)
Why couldn't show it
(If I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance

I drive myself crazy

I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

i suddenly felt a surge of emotions after i read sth. I AM SO NOT GNA BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS. this is gna kill me one of these days. it's bloody emotional torture.

i feel so useless and helpless. all i can do is feel regretful abt not grabbing hold of the chance given to me ages back. and now all i feel is jealousy for whatever reason that only i knw, she knws and god knws. talk abt the biggest regret in my 16 yrs of life...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH zzz i dontknw what to say.

but i had fun ytd with the bunch of guzheng-ists. i miss them a lot, i miss niu li a lottttttttttt!

and thr're so many other things that i miss. like i knw-she knws-god knws-what. omg i cant take it

do i, or do i not?

pls enlighten me.

DYANE PANGSEH-ED ME! now i gotta wait for like i dontknw how long before i can watch ratatouille. she's such a horrible stead.

i'm still feeling superrrrr bored.

Hello?
Hey you know what? I dont need this. I can not believe you.
Over her and why you gotta lie about it? Thats it I'm over it!

Every time I saw you
Trying to pretend
Now I think you’re caught in
A spin
Said that I could trust
You’d be my everything
Falling from the shadows
Now I see

All those times were wasted
When you tried to hide it from me

Chorus:
I don’t care what you’re sayin’
I don’t care what you’re doin’
Never really had me
I’m over it
So why is it so hard to see
All the lies you tell me
I am getting out I’m moving on
I’m over it

Tried to walk away
But my heart was sayin’ no
Can’t believe it took so
Long to go
Now the past is fading
I hardly know your name
Don’t know what you’re doin’
Ya lost the game

All those times were wasted
When you tried to hide it from me






this song's nice, i like. anw, today's last day of prelim. feel part of the pressure being lifted off my shoulders. but i came home straight from sch today. i'm losing my life

i'm telling you, these are the worst few days of my life in the past 16 yrs. i feel confused, down, disappointed, jealous, worried, afraid, uneasy, distress, uncertain whatever it's practically everything that has a negative meaning in the dictionary. i'm getting restless (ky, it's not because i'm hungry). i really have no idea what to do anymore. it's like my whole world jus tumbled. now all i can do is dig a hole to hide myself in the remains. i can sense the despair and hopelessness; i've practically lost myself. thr's jus no more energy within, no more courage to deal with things.

i thought i could rebuild the trust between us. but today, suddenly, i started wondering abt whether everything you said that night was true. was it what you said to jus lie to me and make me fall for your stupid lies, or was it really what you feel deep inside? i really have no idea.

you knw, when i looked at dazzle and glitter jus now, i really wondered how it feels if i could be them.

i thought taking a nap would help at least, but i woke up with a heavy heart. i knw i'm supposed to pick myself up, but whr the hell am i supposed to start? how am i supposed to forget abt it and move on? to hell with it.

call me a pessimist or whatever, i dont care alrdy.

namsy, i'm looking forward to my little escape on friday :) i love cchmsgz

tmr will nvr be a brighter day

smone pls save me

this torturous mind game is killing me. i dontknw how long more i can hang on. everyone's telling me to forget abt it and concentrate BUT THIS HURTS MORE THAN FALLING OUT OF LOVE. i cant get my mind off this. and i woke up this morning with a whole chunk of regrets flooding my mind. not only abt this issue, but everything that i've screwed up in the past 2 yrs. i've nvr ever felt this affected by anything.

screw the thing abt trust. i'm not gng to trust anyone, ever.

the words you said; they were like a slap on my face

how am i ever gng to trust agn?

i knw i'm not supposed to be here. but i'm feeling so down and so not in the mood to study. i jus wna hug dazzle and glitter and go to slp. jus that dazzle'd rather slp on the floor and glitter's downstairs for a walk and i jus woke up, argh.

i'm feeling so... zzz, bored. hopefully tuition later will be fun with all those crazy ghost stories agn.

friends, sigh. the conversation i had with panghian the day before jus keeps revolving arnd my head. what he said was so right. he can treat it like nth happened but i guess i'm not as strong as he is. it's so painful. hah, those whom you think are your really great friends (excluding my beloved fruit family and davin) come to you when they feel like it and then jus dumps you aside the next moment he finds smone else who'll satisfy his enormous need of attention- which happens to be almost everyone except for me. what am i to him? i really wish i could jus go up to him and give him a tight slap in the face and tell him not to talk to me anymore. he's changed so much this yr and god knws it.

anw, i screwed physics up.

and hannah is an idiot who doesnt knw what "mix breed" means. i still feel like whacking her. a pure labrador became a mixed breed in a matter of seconds. hopefully the poor labrador wont be put to slp :(

sigh, pls give me the strength

i wna go shopping! omg I.NEED.TO.SHOP! thr're so manymany things that i wna get, ergh

alright, prelim prelim prelim, means i wont be coming to update for hrmm, maybe 2 weeks? i feel like shit

i'm gng to sleep

if i'm still not gna blog then i think i can get ready to visualise yunhan's hands working its way from eunos to tampines to reach my neck. thr're so many photos! i think i'm gna take forever to upload them. i cant believe we actually took that many. but okay, after all, it's our last day at 201 for gz lesson (haha our teacher suddenly said thr'll be lessons). anw, we wanted to go to 201's mac to study, but the environment thr was so unconducive that they decided to come over to my hse instead.

see, my hse has a conducive environment



then we went off to 201 and after lesson, we went for dinner as usual.

we started off with the normal pics










AND THEN, our dear weiting suddenly asked for a mirror. and we, the creative ppl, started playing arnd with the mirror.

that's my head with yunhan's body, haha!



then i've got yunhan in the mirror :)


she's got me in hers!


& that's weiting



and of course, being the proud owner of my orange winnie the pooh mirror, i took it out to do some experiments










two yunhans


two weitings (jus in case you didnt realise, thr're many hands here. cus angelina needed lots of help in holding the mirrors at the correct position -.-")



& two angelinas!






kissy kiss



we tried that too, but we ended up laughing too hard so we settled with this





i've got four ears






back to normal, zzz





today, i woke up feeling like a lunatic, went down for tuition looking like a lunatic, and during tuition, i became a lunatic. i've been driven mad.

happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you get