HI BYE FLY :D

i'm telling you, these are the worst few days of my life in the past 16 yrs. i feel confused, down, disappointed, jealous, worried, afraid, uneasy, distress, uncertain whatever it's practically everything that has a negative meaning in the dictionary. i'm getting restless (ky, it's not because i'm hungry). i really have no idea what to do anymore. it's like my whole world jus tumbled. now all i can do is dig a hole to hide myself in the remains. i can sense the despair and hopelessness; i've practically lost myself. thr's jus no more energy within, no more courage to deal with things.

i thought i could rebuild the trust between us. but today, suddenly, i started wondering abt whether everything you said that night was true. was it what you said to jus lie to me and make me fall for your stupid lies, or was it really what you feel deep inside? i really have no idea.

you knw, when i looked at dazzle and glitter jus now, i really wondered how it feels if i could be them.

i thought taking a nap would help at least, but i woke up with a heavy heart. i knw i'm supposed to pick myself up, but whr the hell am i supposed to start? how am i supposed to forget abt it and move on? to hell with it.

call me a pessimist or whatever, i dont care alrdy.

namsy, i'm looking forward to my little escape on friday :) i love cchmsgz

tmr will nvr be a brighter day