Veron?? Omg I need to stop myself from thinking so much. Gotta remember Shimin's Tarot card readings...

Anyway today Tuck Zai seems quite down and I couldn't really do much to help. Makes me feel like a lousy girlfriend :( I hope tomorrow will be better for him!

2.30 am and I've got SN1101E mid terms tomorrow. Tired, but not exactly in the mood to sleep. Times like this make me wanna hide and cry myself to sleep. I know I've made a mistake and it has been haunting me, even at this very moment.

Once again, we're back on the same topic. But I don't know... I feel like Tuck Zai's hiding things from me too. The girl who offered him sex (or the secret he promised to keep), the things Jane talked to him about which he mentioned briefly but didn't wanna elaborate, the "friend" who told him that Earnest was from AJ...

Makes me sick to even think about how our relationship will fall apart eventually because of what I've done wrong, which made him wanna keep certain things to himself. I don't know how we're ever going to get through this.

But at times like this, I figured it'd be better to keep things to myself. Otherwise, we'll get into a heated debate again. And ultimately, I'll be the one trying to explain myself and "pushing the blame to him". I think I'm starting to learn how to get my emotions under control and not to let my feelings get the better of me. Doing good Sze Wan! Keep it up! I just hope that things won't snowball.

Oh, Tuck Zai thought that I was hiding something from him cause of the "common friend" who knew him and Earnest. That thought never even crossed my mind. Hahaha alright, I think this is getting a little too much for me to handle now. Gonna sleep it away

It's getting more and more tiring putting my thoughts into words. Sometimes I just feel like scribbling random notes instead of writing a nice long essay about how I feel. It's time for a diary, really.

In short, I just feel very... back-to-square-one now. Just when I thought our love was strong all over again. I suppose you can't really undo something you've done to hurt someone. And this will just come back to haunt you.

I tried

I gotta start keeping a diary. I've got too much kept inside

Hi! I've been hell shit crap crazily busy over bash/ D&D for the past month. And because of that I think I've neglected a few things, Tuck Zai being top of the list. I'm just glad everything's over now and everything's fine and I hadn't made any stupid mistakes.

Anyway, I've been having way too much supper the past few days. Gotta stop munching on my snacks too! I think I've got too much food in my room.

D&D outing soon :DDDD BBQ at east coast! Sounds good eh? But no pork no beef so we're left with chicken hahahaha. Yay I totally wanna join D&D comm next year!!

Alright, I gotta go batheeeeee. And start mugging woohooo. Hahahaha okidokie Tuck Zai I love you byebye

I should have accepted the fact that we belong to different worlds right at the start

Goodnight, world.

Finally, a break from all these thinking and talking (about the same old thing over and over again). I think all the talks are the reason why I'm so afraid of starting a conversation, to the extent that I've wanted to stop talking to you altogether. I feel kinda lost now. But I know things will fall back into place eventually. I've got no regrets

Well, some things don't appear as bad as they seem, but no matter what they'll still be like worms in apples. Then again, it's not like I've got control over anything (anymore) so I guess it'll be best to just swallow everything and accept the fact

HELLO ALL YOU PEASANTS OUT THEREEEEEEEEEE! Long time no see. Plus the ethernet in my room isn't working so zzz. I'm at Shimin's room now cause both our roommates decided to abandon us :( It's quite difficult to type using her laptop. A lot of typo errors. Quite annoying.

Anyway hall life has been good :D I just hope that things with Tuck Zai will get better. It's like when we're together everything's fine, but the moment I get back to hall things change. Then again, maybe because the past 2 weeks had been orientation so I was kinda busy. And you know how it's like when you're with your friends right. You'll just tend to leave everything aside 1st. I suppose things will change for the better now that school has started. I hope