201's like our hrmm, let's count, i think 4th home? HAHA 1st's of course your own home, 2nd's sch, 3rd's guzheng room, 4th's 201! anw, we had lessons thr today and it started early cus we ended cca early. and since we were ended early, we had dinner early. angelina went home to celebrate the international eat with family day -.-"! so, we were not used to eating when the sky's still bright, but we still ate. after that we decided to get back to the centre cus we arent used to gng home that early HAHA. stayed and played like kids. we actually tried to scare xinyi and they concluded that i looked naturally like a ghost because i didnt even have to try to look like one to scare xinyi. and we continued watching the cartoon version of liang shan bo and zhu ying tai thingy. the bird in it looks like javier :)

yay o lvl chi's jus 3 days away. and i'm not prepared at all. it jus doesnt seem true. how how how how how...

oh anw the "how" reminds me of changhong. now he's C-how. HAHA we have this really retarded C-series thing belonging to the GL (guailan) brand, following nokia's N-series, wth. i'm C-one, ko's C-first, kanglong's C-once, changhong's C-how, chinkeong's CK yadayada long list ah. btw, CHEN'S NOT INCLUDED. and they're all my promiscuous partner hoho.

alright dumb. i think exams stressed me out that's why i need some retarded stuff to de-stress myself

I'M STILL FEELING VERY VERY NM! until now, oh god. hah, 3 cheers to angelina and yunhan for talking in codes

you knw, life really brings abt great deals of ups and downs. for a moment we all thought life was jus perfect. we all thought that we're the luckiest bunch of ppl who've met a really great semi-god that have taught us so much abt life. and jus at this point in time, he has to let us knw that we were wrong. how silly we were.

it suddenly jus seems like we arent needed anymore. suddenly, all the blames are pushed to us. he jus isnt being fair. we've done so much, done all we can to help and to let him knw that we're capable. and we thought that he could sense it. if he jus had to let us knw that he hadnt appreciated any of this last friday, i'd rather not have appeared. i'd rather pretend that nth had happened and jus move on with life. but none of us can do it, because we were all thr to witness it on friday.

it's jus scary how things can change so quickly. and we still thought abt how lucky we were befor it all happened. we even gave and offered all that we could, only to find out that our hard work hasnt been appreciated.

everytime i look back on all the posts and msgs on how we've disappointed him, and how much we appreciate him for being here, i feel like the greatest fool.

and if you think that this is bad enough on a supposedly-lovely friday, i had to tackle sth else on a supposedly-lovely saturday as well. well, it's the 1st time that i've felt so let down by a friend. it's the 1st time i've experienced how it feels to be waaaaaaay down, esp after all that has happened on friday. it all jus comes crashing down and thr's nth i can do abt it.

i cant help it if he's decided to leave me at the lift landing alone to catch up with the girl of his dreams, when she alrdy has smone else to help her, while i'm jus standing stupidly befor the lift. i cant help it if he doesnt seem to give a fuck abt us anymore. and he probably doesnt even bother that i've decided to totally give up.

you might say that i'm unreasonable and i'm expecting too much, but you dontknw how it feels to watch your best friend slip off very, very slowly, jus like that. he's changed. i dont even think that he actually realised that i've disappeared somewhere because i've alrdy been long forgotten.

and i dont have the energy to fight with this feeling anymore. if i'm gna lose a friend that slowly and painfully, i'd rather lose him jus right at this point.

then thr's the mess i've created for prom comm. i dont feel like i deserve to be in it. and if i'm gna cause so much trouble for everyone, i'll quit. if she wants to join jus to make me quit, i will. at least i knw that i'll be doing her a favour by saving her energy jus to think of how to oppose me. i really dont have the energy to do anything even if she's gna oppose me. so why not jus let things go and forget all abt life. plus, if she has to act like she likes me and then talk bad abt me behind my back jus to get back into prom comm, gosh, i really really wna help her save her energy by quitting.

my life's in a total mess. disappointments after disappointments. it hurts... a lot.

i've nvr really felt this way. but now, these things jus makes me start thinking. what's the point of doing so much for these ppl when all i get in return is this?

give it up girl, your life's screwed, hoho

hrmm, if scoring a 58 for chem is not enough to make you feel like a total failure, think abt dropping from an A to a C. or how abt thinking that i scored lower for chem than eng. ah that explains it all. enough said.

alright i said i'll blog abt this but i havent actually found the time and since i'm feeling down right now, i shall do this. well well, how do you like walking arnd in the mall with some juniors (okay not really some, but one particular. it's jus to make her feel better by generalizing) who cant match their clothes properly? right, it's not her fault that she doesnt have dress sense, but neither is it my fault that i can see how unmatched her clothes are. adding on to the misfortune of having a face like the dino from flinstones, she has bad dress sense. you can say i'm like the world's bitchiest bitch, but i wont start this unless smone offends me :)

exam periods are always, always, ALWAYS the period of weight gaining. honestly, i dont understand why i have the urge to visit my kitchen every half an hr. probably because it's jus opp my room, sigh.

anw, bio today was, oh god. section B was a killer. so i gave up halfway and completed section C 1st (essay okay! essay essay and it was easier than section B). ah doesnt matter. i'm not pinning high hopes on bio, raaah.

tmr's physics. hopefully it's not so much of a screw up as compared to others.

mood: HUNGRY! >:(
a hungry woman is an angry woman!

the white/gold bag from newurbanmale
the "your money is my money, my money is my money" shirt from newurbanmale :)
lip shine from red earth
size 14 is not fat either by meg cabot
sui love and the red nail polish from anna sui
the shorts and lovely black pants from bods bodynits
my green havaianas :( maybe a pair of white and gold will be nice too
shopping at topshop!

honestly, i cant rmbr all the stuff that i want cus thr's too much to rmbr. my mum always says that i'll need to grow up and earn loads of money jus to satisfy my ever-expanding wishlist.

gosh, it's only the 1st official day of exam and i alrdy feel like... feel like flushing my head down the toilet bowl, argh. so, I SCREWED UP. I SCREWED UP. and you can nvr imagine how badly i screwed up for SS. i jus happily threw 12 marks away, yay, and i didnt realise it until the paper ended. you knw, honestly, i deserve to die.

alright that's it, i need to de-stress. i gotta find a way to... self-indulge. i'm gna go to the fridge and dig for chocolate or icecream or whtevr thr is to make me feel better. and i need to go shopping and splurge on SOMETHING jus to make myself feel good. but befor that, i gotta study e geog, RAAAH.

tuition tonight, thank god. otherwise my A maths for tmr will be probably worse than SS. and then when i come home i'll be wanting to flush my head into evryone's toilet bowl. jus to give myself a brainwash, urgh

is guzheng the only cca that'll cry until the following day for getting a silver in syf? HAHA

yup, mass crying session with the rest at concourse. didnt plan for that to happen but yunhan showed me the msg laoshi sent her. and xinyi saw it too. i managed to hold back my tears until i saw xinyi turn and cry. next it was pearlyn's msg abt how she isnt crying because of disappointment but because of how heartbroken she felt, watching us struggle with the disappointment. some didnt even say a word and jus broke down. i guess this impact will stay with us for life. but it has also taught us a lot. the pros and cons of syf...

came home straight after sch. found out that the rest are gng to 201 so i went to meet them. a so-called counselling session from laoshi. it's jus a wonder how his simple words mean so much to us.

well, like what others say, thr's no point crying over spilt milk. we might as well spend all our time and energy to plan for our june camp and concert, rather than sit and cry jus because we didnt perform well enough on that fateful day. laoshi's right. why let only 5 ppl judge you when you can let hundreds of ppl from the public do that during a peformance? we'll show them that cchmsgz, although a silver, is capable. and the unity and bond that we've got, it's sth no one else with understand.

syf's over. we didnt get the expected results. cheer up and move on? easier said than done

alright, but still, life goes on, jus not now. life stops on 25 april and starts agn on 26 april.

now now, what's most impt is that we enjoyed ourselves on stage. well, i did, really. and like what laoshi says, it's not what we get for syf but whether we felt that we have improved that matters.

still, i cant help feeling disappointed. we worked hard, we tried our best, we spent countless hrs practicing for this. guess it'll take another 2 yrs to break the silver streak.

i'll rmbr this day

ytd was some crazy guzheng day. even crazier than usual fridays. it was guzheng from morn till night! i actually faced ann, devilina, yunhan, weiting, xinyi and shernise for 12 hrs. pearlyn and eunice came and join us during our lesson. the most memorable thing is all the dumb ghostly stuff we scared each other with. and the worst thing is, i didnt knw abt the story of the chair in the new hall and still happily walked with yunhan up the stairs and past the chair. only when we left for 201 did she tell me abt the chair. and she didnt knw that i didnt knw abt it. so i kinda freaked out and wonder wht'd have happened if i suddenly complained abt the heels and jus sat on the chair. it was waaaaay creepy okay. oh and we had a hungry-ghost semi-lunch at the guzheng shi because we were all so tired and hungry after shifting evrything back and forth. thanks to dance for the beehoon! plus we still had some chips and junk food left in the room since the sec1 welcome party so we ate ate ate.

anw, i jus found out that i can play guzheng well with devilina. we've got mo qi. ytd i played the melody and evrything while she helped me play an yin and chan yin. even if it's on separate guzhengs we can play well too. esp for niuli! alright that reminds me of SYF, raaaaah

and last night, i had a longgggggg chat with sherlyn on the phone. whoa, she jus reminded me that the last time we met was probably during sec1. it's been such a long time since i talked to her. but somehow or other, we jus happen to click so well that even after so long, we can talk like we've always been best friends. she called me to settle on the day to go out tgthr but we ended up talking for 2 hrs befor we got back to the topic :)

SYF's coming and thr's pft on next wed and fri! i'm planning to look for sequira with devilina to change it to tues and thurs so that i wont have to skip guzheng, ggrrr

record time for niuli, 2min37s :) and i liked that speed. hopefully we'll stick to smwhr thr during the actualy SYF.

i'm dead beat, no idea why. i'm supposed to come home and TRY to finish up e geog and a maths but hell, i'm too tired to bother. i shall take a night off and slack it away, with my mum, in front of the television. or maybe i can spend this time happily finishing size 12 is not fat.

feel like staying back for more guzheng tmr. plus, i've got nth better to do till 7.30. but that depends on who's gna be gng for the extra "practice"

i'm tired.

all that i'm dng; it's getting more and more like a routine instead