the words you said; they were like a slap on my face

how am i ever gng to trust agn?

i knw i'm not supposed to be here. but i'm feeling so down and so not in the mood to study. i jus wna hug dazzle and glitter and go to slp. jus that dazzle'd rather slp on the floor and glitter's downstairs for a walk and i jus woke up, argh.

i'm feeling so... zzz, bored. hopefully tuition later will be fun with all those crazy ghost stories agn.

friends, sigh. the conversation i had with panghian the day before jus keeps revolving arnd my head. what he said was so right. he can treat it like nth happened but i guess i'm not as strong as he is. it's so painful. hah, those whom you think are your really great friends (excluding my beloved fruit family and davin) come to you when they feel like it and then jus dumps you aside the next moment he finds smone else who'll satisfy his enormous need of attention- which happens to be almost everyone except for me. what am i to him? i really wish i could jus go up to him and give him a tight slap in the face and tell him not to talk to me anymore. he's changed so much this yr and god knws it.

anw, i screwed physics up.

and hannah is an idiot who doesnt knw what "mix breed" means. i still feel like whacking her. a pure labrador became a mixed breed in a matter of seconds. hopefully the poor labrador wont be put to slp :(

sigh, pls give me the strength

i wna go shopping! omg I.NEED.TO.SHOP! thr're so manymany things that i wna get, ergh

alright, prelim prelim prelim, means i wont be coming to update for hrmm, maybe 2 weeks? i feel like shit

i'm gng to sleep

if i'm still not gna blog then i think i can get ready to visualise yunhan's hands working its way from eunos to tampines to reach my neck. thr're so many photos! i think i'm gna take forever to upload them. i cant believe we actually took that many. but okay, after all, it's our last day at 201 for gz lesson (haha our teacher suddenly said thr'll be lessons). anw, we wanted to go to 201's mac to study, but the environment thr was so unconducive that they decided to come over to my hse instead.

see, my hse has a conducive environment



then we went off to 201 and after lesson, we went for dinner as usual.

we started off with the normal pics










AND THEN, our dear weiting suddenly asked for a mirror. and we, the creative ppl, started playing arnd with the mirror.

that's my head with yunhan's body, haha!



then i've got yunhan in the mirror :)


she's got me in hers!


& that's weiting



and of course, being the proud owner of my orange winnie the pooh mirror, i took it out to do some experiments










two yunhans


two weitings (jus in case you didnt realise, thr're many hands here. cus angelina needed lots of help in holding the mirrors at the correct position -.-")



& two angelinas!






kissy kiss



we tried that too, but we ended up laughing too hard so we settled with this





i've got four ears






back to normal, zzz





today, i woke up feeling like a lunatic, went down for tuition looking like a lunatic, and during tuition, i became a lunatic. i've been driven mad.

happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you get

went to seoul garden with dyane, gerald and davin. at 1st dyane wanted to watch hairspray and it was supposed to be jus the 2 of us, but davin and gerald came along zzz. so we decided that eating is more impt that watching a movie because we were starving... and we took a taxi. whr we recorded some really silly stuff that shall not be disclosed (as davin requested). anw, we sat next to this grp of guys that were hilariously ugly and disgusting and has the "i think i'm so cool and handsome" attitude. so, we overheard their conversation (we didnt mean to eavesdrop, but they talked so loudly)

guy: i'm gna go ask the girl for her number
friend: what if the girl doesnt wna give it to you?
guy: i'll go up to her and say "give me your number or i'll rip your panties off"

omg i laughed so badly at that. they are, yuck yuck yuck. plus, the guy who said he wanted the girl's number was the fattest and ugliest among the grp! oh dear...

thanks to my useless bladder, i rushed to the toilet. then we left seoul garden and went into courts, whr dyane saw this pink zen mp3 and an even nicer pink ipod nano which dyane wants terribly. so we gave davin a suggestion, which was to buy the pink ipod, give me dyane's ipod and davin can have mine.

then we went off to search for dyane's gossip girl. she got one of the older books from san bookshop. she's probably searching everywhere for book 11 now.

yea, that's abt it. nth much, but i had a good laugh.

went to watch secret with my mum. she didnt understand so she made me give a summary of the story and ended up explaining it from the beginning to the end! the show was great. i loved the piano battle part! gorgeous.

anw, i forgot to blog abt this ytd. yunhan told us sth really depressing after our chem prac which totally freaked me out. i seriously cant imagine how she felt during her chem prac, given that she heard it befor her prac. it's really depressing. and i feel so sorry for the poor uncle and his family. my heart goes out to him, really. it just suddenly makes me think abt a lot of stuff, even though it's not related to me and i dont personally knw the uncle. they all say he's really nice, sigh.

tmr's sunday. i'm gng to shop with yunhan and angelina for yunhan and angelina's presents (HAHA). gotta get some teacher's day gifts too. zzz, troublesome!

reality finally sinks in. i really didnt expect time to fly past so quickly. i guess i jus hadnt given it any thought before today. today's our last lesson in 201. and we'll probably continue only in dec or jan. when we 1st stepped down, we told ourselves, no worries, thr's still friday lessons at 201 to look forward to. now, all we're looking forward to is for o's to quickly end so that we can resume our lessons. time passes way too quickly. i'll miss friday lessons :(

zzz, so today's our "last" day thr. BUT NOBODY STAYED FOR DINNER EXCEPT THE 3 SEC 4S WHO'LL BE LEAVING FOR THE TIME BEING! alright, we've got such great juniors, dangs. anw, we took tons of crap pictures at mcdonald's. and one with chen laoshi.

when will we see this agn?


201 201 201!



WITH CHEN LAOSHI!


thanks to my great photography skills, i managed to capture the big "M" behind.




we're only 16 :)




ahem, the UPSIZED






yunhan's, angelina's, mine.


we realised that they've got numbers on the cups.


yea that's all i've got for today.

god i feel so stressed up. soon you'll see me with white hair and i'll end up walking arnd in sch with messy and unkempt hair and stuff like that. prelim's starting on friday, and i've done anything. i'm in a mess. a complete mess.

anw, i changed my blog song. it's in cantonese, but listen to it, it's really nice.

you knw, smtimes i find my life being so empty. i've got a great family, great friends, okay results, fun life and stuff like that. but i dontknw, smtimes i think i've got everything in the world and smtimes, they jus seem to slip out of my hands. dont get me wrong, i'm not talking abt stupid BGR or whatever. i'm not hungry for that.

i guess the only thing that can be any sort of consolation will be doing well for my exams. god knws i need to do well.

i feel so worn-out

alright, i just finished my compo corrections. i think i took as long as i wrote it the 1st time, zzz.

nth much happened in the past few days actually. just the usual routine. oh, except oral. but i dont think that's considered as any interesting happening. anw, oral was fine. the teachers were really nice. so yea, i hope i did well. *crosses fingers*

i'm watching this show called tang xin feng bao now. and i think what i like most is the song. it's really sad! v touching...

okay i cant think of anything to blog abt. this post is just for the sake of updating.

just as i was sitting along the corridor, draining myself of tears, a thought flashed through my mind. how many times have i cried so badly in this yr alone? many, in fact.

i was sitting with yunhan and angelina, and suddenly, everything got dragged over to SYF, just because "crying badly" could link to it. actually, i can link it to many more. like during mid yr, when i got back my e geog results, or right after my piano exam. they all shared something common. i held high hopes for all, but they just came crashing down all of a sudden. it's always the "i can do it, i can do it" with "i wish i had done better" coming after it. every time you hold high hopes for something, somehow or other, it just never comes true. it's no exception this time round.

thanks for the B3, i appreciate it. maybe it's complacency, the sheer thought that i could had done well even without studying.

a big thankyou to blackcurrant and yellow banana for sacrificing their recess just to accompany me, cus of our silly pact to get emo together. but i really appreciate it! thankyou loads. i love you guys. and thankyou ka ying for calling to check if i was okay. even if i wasnt, i'd be :)

i cant expect more from my life when i've got such gd friends

LOVE